Today is a weird day. I would imagine that it is a weird day not only for me, but for almost every other LGBT person in California.

On the one hand, we have seen the triumph of a candidate that the gay community overwhelmingly supported ascend to the White House. The Democratic Party, which has always been better to our community than the GOP, picked up seats in both the House and the Senate. Across the country, a new spirit of hope and renewal is taking hold.

And yet…

California, the state that supposedly leads the country in almost every aspect, has voted to deny a fundamental human right to a minority. In a situation hard to reconcile, a measure to protect farm animals passed with an almost two-to-one margin, sending the message that perhaps animals deserve more rights than human beings.

I’ve been approached by many, many friends, all of whom have asked how I’m doing. To be honest, at first I didn’t feel anything. In some way, I was holding out hope that the numbers would somehow change. But now that the race has been called — 52.4 percent in favor to 47.6 percent against according to the latest returns — I find myself unsettled and emotional.

I have been told, by my fellow citizens of California, that I do not deserve the right to marry. I have been told, by my fellow citizens of California, that I am somehow less than the majority of them. I have been told, by my fellow citizens of California, that who I am is immoral, repugnant and wrong. I have been told, quite simply, that I am not as equal as them.

So I go through the day, wondering if the people I encounter voted “Yes” or “No” on the measure that took my rights away. I consider whether the person I pass in the hallway or on the street knows that their fellow voters have devalued me as a person. I wonder if I will ever be able to share the joy of a marriage; a true marriage, not a civil union or domestic partnership.

And, yes, this fight is not over. There will be court battles. There may even be another proposition to vote on. But neither of those possibilities can erase the deep wound that has been inflicted upon me and my community.

This morning, I jokingly told my mother that it looked like she would never get to go to my wedding. I didn’t realize how sad those words were until just now.